Put Your Filter On

When we bought our house seven years ago, we were excited about the pool in the backyard; however, we were less than thrilled with the green algae-infested water. The first week we ran the filter endlessly until our electric bill matched our new mortgage payment. Finally, we realized our only hope would be a new filter. Expensive but powerful, the new filter worked wonders. Soon I was floating on a raft, with a beer, calling for my pool boy husband. Having a filter was the single most important factor for enjoying our new pool. Having a filter resulted in less stress and more enjoyment. This is also true in life.

I have a big mouth. I tend to BLURT out what I am thinking at any given moment. Interrupting you to listen to me. Many times planning my response while you are still talking. Listening is the key to filtering. You can’t listen to someone unless you are listening. I am constantly working on filtering my thoughts; it is a necessity to happiness in my life—and the lives of those around me.

At work, at home, and at school I have the privilege of being with people all day long. I LOVE people. It is rare that I spend a quiet moment, alone, without talking to someone. On the phone, in person or electronically, I am in constant communication with other people. People like to talk to me, and I like to talk to them. And I have points to make—DO YOU HEAR ME??? But the points I make aren’t the points that stick. People don’t necessarily care about my opinion, what they really want is to discover their own opinion. They want to make their own decisions, understand their own thoughts, and find the answers to their own problems. You are simply the filter to helping them get there. You are not the ends, simply the means.

Next time you are talking, stop yourself long enough to listen and remember to turn your filter on.

Still Lost

I have a disability. I get lost. Were this a certified special education disability, my IEP would include an accommodation which includes personal driver to transport me everywhere. This disability has caused me numerous late appointments, frantic phone calls to my husband, and sheer frustration for anyone who drives with me. I’ve used gas station attendants, mapquest, and other people to help me navigate. For Christmas last year, my husband bought me a GPS. Am I the only person with a GPS that still gets lost? I have put in the right address but wrong city. The GPS voice (I named him “Sergio”) has told me many times, “You have reached your destination” even though I am surrounded with only corn fields. These trips have often times ended with finding a dive restaurant I would have never visited, meeting some very interesting people at truck stops, and sometimes just wasted gas.

Getting lost with a map–the story of my life.

So many people have asked me over the years, “What do you want to do?” ”What are your career aspirations?” ”Do you want to be a principal, professor, superintendent?” I answer, “I don’t know.” Not because I want to be elusive or even seem like I don’t have a plan, but really I don't know. I believe in opportunity. I believe you enjoy where you are at on the way to where you are going, even if you don’t know exactly where the end destination may be. I believe that narrowing your focus hinders you from possibilities. There are times when navigating and having a plan are necessary or nothing would get done; however, I believe those plans should be written in pencil. Thinking back over the years, I remember picking out my high school classes with my mom as she tried to help me pick a “career.” There were only two things I wanted, 1) to dress nice for work 2) be an expert. My work allows me both of these most of the time.

As I talk to people, many times they don’t know where the next move is going to take them. There is apprehension and a sense of insecurity in not knowing. My advice: the not knowing is fine as long as you are moving in a direction and taking steps to better your life, staying stagnate is the only thing that can destroy your future. Keep moving forward in your thinking, in your objectives, in your car…and you will get there…even if you don’t have a map!