S+P=H

I have two children. One is strong-willed and obstinate, one easy and compliant. As individuals they couldn’t be more night and day. However, I often try to use the same parenting techniques and strategies with both. It doesn’t work. As an educator, I am well aware that different kids have different needs. In the classroom, I would gladly “differentiate” my instruction to try to meet the intellectual and interest needs of my students. As a parent, not so much.

I am taking a stats class this semester. It’s hard. We have tests and quizzes. For real, like “put away your books and take out a pencil.” This is very different from most of the other classes I have taken as a graduate student. Most education classes go something like this: read, discuss, write a research paper. Taking the time to process through a problem helps to pin-point exactly what needs to be addressed. It allows space to look at a problem from all the angles. This takes a REALLY long time for me when it comes to standard deviations, t-tests and z-scores. Usually these types of problems have one answer. There is only one way to solve the problem, skip a step and you’re screwed.
I like education and psychology classes because I can process the information on my own terms—in my own way. Because…wait for it…I like things on my terms. And so does my daughter.

I use this as a reminder that I don’t always have the right answer when it comes to parenting a child who needs choices. I have to trust that I can give plausible options that are within the confines of her abilities. I have to allow her options—that she comes up with ALL BY HERSELF . Furthermore, I need to allow her the space to try out those options in her own way. Usually when my frustration or stress level is high, I often resort to the “one size fits all” model of parenting. This works well with the “easy” kid because immediate compliance is the first resort, but the persistent child refused to be satisfied with the status-quo. When I am being open-minded, she is able to take responsibility for her own actions. She is happier. I am happier. The world is happier. Helping her channel her challenging mindset is a craft I am learning to navigate daily.

My learning outcome: Stats class doesn’t come easy and neither does parenting!

Extra Credit: What do the letters in the title represent?